Hope u ll Love this Stuff !!!

How True.. .A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min, a beer shortens your life by 4 minutes, a working day shortens your life by 8 hours!

It's wrong that Alcohol makes u fat... It doesn't! It actually makes u LEAN... against bars, poles, walls, friends & strangers! Cheers!

True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a late night out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhi tak safai kar rahi ho?

Two friends, who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
1st: Who are u working 4 now?
2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 children.

Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.

Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Sardar: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.

A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!

How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!

Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?

Telling a Lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and a matter of survival for a married man.

Doctor to Lady: U r looking so weak and exhausted ! Are U properly taking 3 meals a day as I had advised ?
Lady: Oh my God ! I heard 3 Males per day !

Doctor, cut off my dog's tail.
Vet: Why do u want to do that?
Coz my mother-in-law is visiting us & I don't want anything to make her think she's welcomed.

Police arrestd a drunkard & askd: Where r u goin?
Man: I'm goin 2 listen lecture on ill effcts of drinking.
Cop: Who'll lecture at midnite?
Man: My wife...

Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?
Student: Father-in-Law!

What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

Alcohol contain female hormones. Proof: Men gain weight, talk unnecessarily, become extra emotional & stupid, start fighting without any reason.

A teenage boy to his father: Here's my report card and a list I've compiled of entrepreneurs who never finished their High School.

Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

Why did Saddam Hussein attack Kuwait?
He had an Arabic baby-sitter, who always used to say 'Keep Quwait, Keep Quwait'

He was a good man. He never smoked, drank & had no affair. When he died, the insurance company refused the claim. They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job, Good food, Good sleep &
Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right. Good Day.


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